From Cairns to… nowhere

The start of my East Coast adventure – 5 weeks travelling down Australia’s east coast – didn’t start off quite as anticipated. I bought a Greyhound pass and on Tuesday the 27th left Cairns to begin.


The ‘ten minute walk’ from the hostel to the Esplanade coach point was more like 15 in the already 33 degree heat. After a few quick stops arrived I time but hot. Coach a lot like National Express; roomy, clean, on board toilet and working wifi, leather reclining seats etc… So sweaty I can’t sit back. Sneakily take baby wipes out of bag and have a wipe down. Guy next to me also takes one.

8.15am – 10 30am:

Arrived at Mission Beach for the first drop off/pick up. Snoozed most of the trip so far. Bonus side to travel sickness tablets.

Nothing exciting to report.


Stopped off at a cafe for a 30 minute break. Had a ham and cheese sandwich exactly the same as you would make at home – no fancy bread, but reminded me how nice it was to be in a country where you know exactly what you’re eating.

Bought a Snickers as pudding which melted so fast I had to eat it in three bites. Two guys watched.


Headed back to the coach.


Got off the coach. It has broken down, or rather, won’t start. Have all abandoned vehicle which is slowly cooking, for the outside which really is no better.


Sneakily slipping into nearby shops with air con as local cafe doesn’t have it. Splitting my time between the newsagents and post office. Throwing out the occasional ‘mmm’ and pretending to admire shot glasses with boobs on.


Spent one hour in the post office. Rearranged the Christmas cards and organised the birthday cards. Cashier thinks I’m weird. How long is it acceptable to stay in here do you think?


Abandoned newly organsied post office after one hour of joyous cool. Took the reluctant step back out into 40 degree heat.

Driver has announced an engineer is on the way and should be here within 45 minutes. They’ve also sent another coach which could take up to two hours.


Headed across the road to the pier for some breeze and shade. Sat down for a handful of moments before an ant crawled in and bit me on my crotch, followed by a second one. Both are now no longer with us. Strange looks from fellow passengers as I have thorough root around down there for anymore.

Leave the pier.


Engineer baffled. Seems as though the coach has given up the ghost. Can’t blame it in this heat. I’d refuse to work too. Sweating so hard. It’s the kind of sweat that feels like suncream on your skin – all sticky and moist.

Since Thailand I have started to sweat in previously unsweaty places. For example, boob sweat. How is it that men can sweat down their chest and it’s sexy, but as a woman like you’re boobs are crying. Why are my boobs sweating at all? Why is my moustache sweating?

Afraid to lift up my arms.

Still waiting for second coach.


Coach finally fixed. Engineer drove it forwards and backwards for good measure.

We’re off!


Passed the second coach coming to rescue us…


Found an extra ant running up and down my leg. Spend a few moments wondering where that’s been this whole time. Make a mental note to shave when I get to the hostel.


Arrive in Townsville. Hurrah!

*Only two ants were harmed in the making of this afternoon.

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